Nov. 3, 2021

BPD & the "Favorite Person" (FP) relationship - when love turns toxic

BPD & the "Favorite Person" (FP) relationship - when love turns toxic

One of the most discussed topics in the BPD community is that of the favorite person or “FP” relationship. I’ve heard it described incredibly accurately as “two people dancing an unconscious dance.” Unresolved trauma can tend to cause someone who identifies with symptoms of borderline personality disorder (EUPD) to rotate between idealizing and devaluing the people in our lives. Our “favorite person” can become the center of our world. Wrapping our entire identity and emotional stability on one person is not a sustainable way to live. In this episode, we’ll discuss how you can unravel yourself from this toxic dynamic and become your OWN favorite person.


​​💡 Questions answered in this episode:


■ What does FP stand for and what is the meaning of FP in the context of BPD?

■ How does splitting come into play within a BPD / FP relationship?

■ Can you have BPD without an FP?

■ How to cope with losing your FP when you have BPD

■ How does a “favorite person” influence someone living with BPD

■ What does a typical FP relationship look like

■ Understanding the BPD relationship cycle

■ Risks of a favorite person relationship (understanding codependency and abandonment trauma) 

■ How to turn an FP relationship from toxic to healthy

■ The role paranoia (and cheating paranoia) plays in BPD and FP relationships

■ Understanding BPD and identity disturbance

■ What to expect if you are the favorite person of someone with BPD

■ Using voice dialogue techniques to express healthy anger

📝Recommended resources:

Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. 


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