Are you living out of integrity? (The key to overcoming your identity issues)

Many people who are asked to identify their “true self” (apart from their specific beliefs and behaviors) draw a complete blank. This sense of shame-spiraling after being asked to talk coherently about our sense of identity is even more pronounced for those of us who identify with symptoms and traits of borderline personality disorder (BPD.)

Being true to yourself requires that your whole Self be “whole” – or “integrated.” In this episode, we’ll dive into how much of what makes our lives miserable (people-pleasing, staying in toxic relationships, self-sabotaging behaviors, and coping styles) is because we are out of touch with what makes us feel whole. In these moments, our defensive emotions and reactive impulses overrule our Higher Selves. In these moments, we are living out of integrity. Together, we'll walk through how to resurrect the Self fully and transform your well-intentioned but misguided and disowned childhood parts into wholeness. Into integrity.

💡 Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:

■ Why practical skills and therapy might feel like they’re not “working” if you’re living out of integrity

■ How and why we compromise our integrity

■ How the word ‘integrity’ is intimately related to the psychological concept of ‘integration’

■ How being out of integrity leads to splits in our personality and disconnects us from our true selves

■ History of internal family systems therapy and how it relates to the concepts of integrity and integration

■ Understanding how our different “parts” try their best to protect us from psychological/emotional pain but end instead causing mental health problems and compulsive/maladaptive behaviors

■ Understanding and connecting with our “inner conductor” (also known as the higher self, or seat of higher consciousness)

■ Becoming aware of our deeply buried “inner exiles” (the most vulnerable & deeply wounded childlike parts of ourselves)

■ Examples of how our protective and non-integrated parts make it impossible for us to uphold our inner integrity and keep us stuck in feelings of loneliness, powerlessness, and shame

■ How different parts of our personalities change an adapt to survive continuous abuse and neglect in childhood

■ Understanding and accepting our caretakers as flawed humans who were disconnected from their “inner conductors” and letting their disowned parts rule the show

■ How we externalize old feelings of inadequacy, abandonment and worthlessness and project them onto our partners and friends in adulthood

📝Recommended and referenced resources:

Book - The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to You True Self by Martha Beck

Article - How & Why You Compromise Your Integrity

Disclaimer: information contained in this podcast episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. 

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